Wednesday, December 19, 2018


With 2018 coming to a close in a week and a half I have been drawn into reflection. I have really been looking at what has taken place in a year. At the beginning of the year, I set a challenge for 2018 to be my “Brave” year for healing. Yes, indeed I did do that. My first thought brought me to a question. What made me make a goal like that? What does a brave year for healing actually mean? I have alluded to the fact life has been pretty gloomy for me in a few of my blog posts. What I did not inform you is just how dark it truly got. This time last year I was put under a 24/7 suicide watch for several weeks. I can recall the moment everything came to an end. Sobering thought, perhaps. I remember the utter despair and desperation from the relentless torment I was enduring. I could see no relief in sight and could see no other way out. I remember the exact moment the brokenness within me became wrapping black tendrils choking life out. It was a logical conclusion to me... End my life... That’s all I could see or desire. I sobbed on the floor yelling “I WANT TO DIE. JUST LET ME DIE. I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE. THE PAIN. I WANT TO DIE. LET ME DIE. I CANNOT LIVE THIS LIFE ANYMORE!” The plan to end my life was already formulating in my mind. My husband grabbed me like he’s never done before and held on for dear life. As I kept repeating the same words over again and again his grip became tighter. Yes, that indeed was the moment I must remember. Why? Because it has become a foreign memory. Not a sobering thought after all.

I didn’t see how important it was for me to recall that exact moment. However, I now see with absolute certainty I HAVE been successful making 2018 a year of growth. As I recall the year I remember hard battles I would much rather have ran away from. This has been a truly difficult year. I have been fighting the toughest battle I have EVER fought. I accomplished things I never thought I could do or hadn’t done in years. The smallest things most take for granted in daily life I have had to relearn. Things I used to do with ease I no longer can. It’s as if I am learning how to walk all over again. Those steps are not very big ones either. I stumble and fall but the difference is this time I am slowly learning how to climb back up by using something to grab onto instead trying to do it alone. I do not want to go back to who I was before. That person was damaged and she pushed the dark down. I am getting rid of the dark and letting the light reveal who this individual really is. I don’t want the dark tendrils to reach me again. So I must Face Everything and Rise. I am going to keep searching for this new Michelle. I am confident she is not far from reach and I feel her arms are stretched out in anticipation to welcome me!

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Sticks and stones can break my bones but words...

We can all remember growing up and either saying or hearing these words spoken. I was never one of the popular kids. I never quite fit in with most of the children in my class. I could be found playing by myself a lot during recess time. On a rare occasion, I would find someone who played with me. I think I had gotten used to moving to several schools in my very early life that I learned to not make too many friends because I would end up losing them in the end. I grew, what I thought, was a tough skin at the time. When I got picked on and made fun of I would cock my head to the side, lift one shoulder higher than the other and loudly proclaim “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will NEVER hurt me.” I would then promptly stick out my tongue, turn on my heels and march off. I was trying so very hard to show them they were not going to intimidate me. I don’t think I was all that successful because it would happen again the next day. At some point I just gave up. No amount of me saying anything was going to change the way I was being treated. The reality was, the names and words really did hurt me but I wasn’t going to let on to it.

The origin is unknown for this phrase. Matter of fact, from what I have found, the first time it can be located in print was March 1862. The Christian Recorder, a publication of the African Methodist Episcopal Church, declared it an “old adage” reciting it as being “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never break me.” But as most phrases morph and change over time it became something a little less grisly. Yet, somehow I find myself drawn to the original adage. There is something more powerful in the word break instead of hurt don’t you think. As a child I didn’t pick it apart. I just wanted the bulling to end. Now as an adult, I stop and actually ponder this. It has been milling around in my mind for a while now. Perhaps for a reason.

Words are a powerful thing. They can proclaim love and desires, lift up emotionally, share good news that can result in smiles, declare devotion, spread happiness, destroy relationships, kill someone’s spirit, and cause tears of joy or sadness. Yes indeed, words are influential to say the least. So the “old adage” is just that, a saying. It holds no truth other than sticks and stones can break bones. Many times we tend to think our words aren’t earth-shattering. But I think you already know that’s not the case. You’ve been deeply wounded by words. Words that completely affected your course of life, whether in a positive or negative manner. But what if it goes deeper than words said. Can the unspoken word, actions or lack of actions also cause the same? I believe the answer to that is yes.

Sometimes we are in situations where words aren’t said, action response is quick or not at all, and we find ourselves waiting for something we have no idea what. It’s all determined by the situation in a blink of an eye. We hold so much power in our hands and yet somehow I don’t think we fully realize how much. It is not an easy thing to be mindful of every spoken/unspoken word and actions/no actions. But we must be aware that no matter what we chose to do or say holds a lot of influence.

Words and actions indeed can break.

“If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.” James 1:26 (NLT)

“The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you.” Matthew 12:37 (NLT)

“In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 2 Peter 1:5-8 (NLT)

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Where's Waldo? ...

Indeed, where is Waldo? 

Ok let’s take a minute to search for him. There is a cityscape picture with tons of people in it doing many different things. There are cars, bikes, trucks, and many other forms of transportation. The picture is full of specialty shops where the widow displays are ornate. We can’t forget the occasional person walking their dog. Oh and the landscaping along the side of the road and in front of the shops. Clouds in the sky where birds are dancing in and out of. Yes, there is indeed a lot going on in this picture. Now we must find ONE guy among all the chaos. Perhaps he doesn’t want to be found. Maybe he’s trying to take a minute or two for himself. But it is inevitable, we must locate him.

After combing every inch of the photo and painstakingly thinking many times we spotted him, we are about give up. We look in places we think he should be but he’s nowhere to be found. Then finally we spot a glimpse of his red and white hat. BOOM!!!! Found him!!!!!!

We now turn the page and start the process all over again…

So what is the point in this? I feel many of you have been playing “Where’s Michelle?”  Trying to locate me in places you think I should be. There is so much surrounding me you’re not able to see where I have taken up residence. Well you are not the only one. Matter of fact, I am looking for Michelle as well in the same picture you are. I try to search for Michelle where I have always found her but she’s not there. The places and things I once loved and enjoyed have collected dust from lack of use. Yes, where indeed is Michelle? It is the million dollar question.

I have not hidden my mental state over the last year and a half.  No, I have not gone into great detail but enough to know I am in a battle. Yes, I said I’m IN a battle. The toughest battle I have ever fought in my life. I am surrounded by many things that push and pull me and it’s hard to continue to stand. But I’m fighting to keep my footing. Sometimes I lose my stance and it’s hard to get back up. Each day I have to make a choice to stand firm and not allow the wind, sometimes even a small breeze, to knock me down. My successes are beginning to outnumber my failures. I came to a mountain and knew I had to either climb it or I would be stuck in the same spot forever. So I decided to begin the slow and rough climb up. I must make the decision daily to climb. I decided to make 2018 my “Brave” year! That’s my word for this year. I have realized I’m not going to get better if I don’t start focusing on me for once. I’ve NEVER done this. I have always put other’s needs before my own. I no longer am able to do that. It’s time for me to begin to repair the brokenness that started many many years ago. Will it take longer than 2018 to get to that point? I truly do not know. I am focused on each day and making sure I’m doing the work I need to make it through it. My goal is to once again live and love life and I do believe it will happen! So I must be brave and face the climb ahead, no matter how rough it gets. In the meantime, please be patient while looking for Michelle and please don’t give up on trying to find her! 

Because I’m not giving up on her!!!!

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

My Answer . . . The best I can be at the moment

So I guess the aftermath from my last blog post has blown over. That was interesting to say the least. So now what? What happens now that I opened a little of Michelle Cooper’s life for public consumption? It’s been eight months. You might think those eight months must have been so freeing for me. I mean, why wouldn’t it be? I was able to get some stuff off my chest. Maybe helping others see me for the first time would help me feel unrestricted. Perhaps you have been thinking some of these things or maybe you have not. Well let me tell you, if you have not been thinking these things, I have been thinking them for you! Either way, the reality is, time has passed. So where to begin?

Over a year ago, I felt God telling me to write parts of my story down. I thought He wanted me to do this in order for a voice to be given to those who suffered from mental illness. What I failed to see, He had a completely different plan for me. There is a reason God made the choice to only fill me in on part of the plan. The truth is, if He would have disclosed the entire design, I would have run out the door and slammed it shut behind me. I would have made sure the door locked on the way out. I might have even stopped long enough to double check the lock to make sure it wouldn’t jiggle loose and become unlocked. Nope, I did not know the full plan God had for a very good reason.

If I had known that I would experience a perpetual winter season for over a year, I never would have done what I did. The wind is so cold and fierce that it burns as its tendrils stretch out to slap my face as they pass by. The bitter cold continues, it steals my breath away as it wraps around me tightly. The grayness of the sky has sunk into my soul causing such a deep darkness I am searching to find my footing. The blinding snow and sleet continues to fall from the sky like bullets careening toward its target ripping away any warmth. My stance becomes crippled causing me to stumble and fall. I have never felt so alone, scared, numb, and desolate in my life. My husband has been the voice pulling me in from the cold and wrapping me with warm blankets trying to breathe life back into my body. No, it’s not been an easy 8 months to say the least. It’s taken me a while but I finally figured out why God wanted me to take that step.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up. After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin. And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.” As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever? 10 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. 11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. 12 So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. 13 Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.”    Hebrews 12:1 – 13 (NLT)

See, it’s not that God wants me to hurt so deeply. However, He knows it is necessary. I have been broken for most of my life. Because of people and events, I have built a very unhealthy reality for myself. The things that have slowed me down most of my life finally caused me to stop my forward momentum all together. God is not disciplining me in the way we traditionally view chastisement. He is loving me by taking me through the steps to begin to pick up the scattered remains of my life. He is taking me through the discipline of accepting myself and learning my past doesn’t have to dictate terms anymore to my most inner being. He loves me, the inside me! He said He does this to the ones He loves. He also said it would be painful but He loves me and I am His child. He is so patient to wait for me to take these steps so that I might know the freedom I have not felt in more years than I can remember. He longs for me to take my shoes off, have the blades of grass tickle my toes, jump in mud puddles, to dance in the rain, pick wild flowers, and have my skin kissed by the warm rays of sun. He wants me to be happy and strong. So for now He is calling me to take each footstep and to;

“Be still, and know that I am God! . . .” Psalm 46:10

Monday, September 12, 2016

I'm good . . . How are you?

“I’m good” falls out of our mouths so quickly when asked, “How are you?” Sometimes it’s said and then we think to ourselves, “No, I’m not good. Why don’t I just say I’m not good?”

Why do we do that? Why do we tell others we are good when we really are not? I have been asked that question more times than I can count. My reaction is usually “I’m good” or “I’m okay”. However, lately my answer has changed a bit. If you have been one of the lucky ones to ask me how I was and got my answer of “Tired”, well, that is very much the truth. Yet, the real truth is still hidden in there. But it pacifies the asker and we move on to another topic of discussion. Well, I’m here to truthfully answer that question now. I’m not fine, I’m not okay, and I’M NOT GOOD!

I am no longer going to hide behind myself. I am tired beyond what words can describe. The rush of emotions overwhelms me on a regular basis. It’s time to give voice to this quiet killer. Strap in because it’s about to get bumpy.

Life for me, as for most everyone, has not been an easy one. I’ve struggled with many things in my life. It started at a very young age when my parents split up. My parents did not get along and fought a lot. I don’t remember much of that, but enough to know it was pretty heavy. They decided it was better to live apart than together. I was left with my mother and my two siblings went to live with my father. I loved my life with my mother and her girlfriend, Sam, who spoiled me greatly. I never wanted for anything. It was a truly amazing life for a little girl. My dad got remarried when I was 5 and I still lived with my mother at that time. However, my father was trying desperately to obtain custody of me. One day, he received a call from my mother while at work. She told him to pick up all my belongings and get me from school. She was giving me to him. He picked me up from school that day and I never said goodbye to my mother. I had no clue this was going to happen. All I knew was mom and Sam were breaking up and I wanted to go with Sam because she took great care of me and I loved her. I thought I was given up because I wasn’t good enough for my mother and she just didn’t want me anymore. After a few years passed, she got pregnant again and had a little girl. That solidified more in my mind what I felt before, that I wasn’t good enough so she gave me up and had another baby. She kept that one because the new baby was better. I buried those feelings deep down.

I was excited to have a new mom and family. I was the youngest of 5 now. I had 2 older brothers and 2 older sisters. They kinda hung out with each other and I got left out a lot of the time because they were closer in age. I learned to play by myself a lot. My brother would go fishing and work on bikes with me. I have to give him props because he would even play Barbie with me from time to time. I’m sure it’s not something he wants to admit though. Living in the country was a great place for a little girl like me to grow up. I wish it had stayed innocent and carefree. Unfortunately, darkness found its way into my young life. Beginning in my single digits and continuing into my double digits I was sexually molested. It occurred many times over many years. It shook me to my inner core and that’s where I went to hide. I found it safe, so I stayed there for many years. I reached out for help, but none was given. So, those feelings were buried deep down.

I was a very troubled teen. I was always searching for something but could never find it. I didn’t know what exactly it was I was searching for but it didn’t stop me from looking. I tried God, but I wasn’t a big fan. I went to alcohol, smoking, partying, and caring less about school and friends. I was not popular with the guys and I guess the girls didn’t care too much for me either. So I kept my distance.  I found myself in a very dark place. Tried to kill myself but I wasn’t smart enough to figure out I was taking the wrong kind of pills for such a thing to happen. Just got really sick and passed it off to my parents as the flu. I tried to find comfort but none could be found. So I buried those feelings deep down.

Got married at a very young age, but was the happiest I’d ever been. He loved me for who I was and didn’t expect me to be something I wasn’t. We attended a church that was not very Spirit-led. It was more law-driven than anything else. I was scolded many times for several different things. I was literally called into the pastor’s office and called hard-hearted and if I didn’t change my ways I was going to hell. I wasn’t a good Christian no matter how hard I tried. I reached out for help but that didn’t come for many years. So I buried those feelings deep down.

As an adult, I have suffered from many unexplained issues. I’m seriously a walking medical mystery in so many ways. I’m used to hearing “Hmm, I’ve never seen that before” or “I don’t know what to do” from a doctor. It doesn’t matter what kind of doctor it is. I’ve heard it from just about all kinds. I’m the patient who gets all the fine print on those documents you have to sign. You know, the ones talking about the slight possibilities of things that never happen but we have to tell you just to cover ourselves in case they do. Yep, that’s me. All the drug side effects, yep again! So many things weighing on me that keep picking away at my physical and mental well-being. I developed severe pain that occurred all the time over many years. Nothing I did would bring relief. No amount of strong pain meds even did. My reality was becoming dark and I was slipping into a cold, lonely abyss. I went to this place many times and decided to stay for a while. On one of these occasions, I lost the will to live. Every day my husband was scared he would find me dead when he walked through the door after work. The numbness overwhelmed me and I hid in the dark and buried myself there.

Once I began to climb out of my hiding place, I was smacked back down with the resurfacing of an old ugly wound. The sexual molestation I lived through many years ago had decided it was going to remind me of the pain I endured for so long. My life became completely unbearable. With physical pain and emotional torment, I was doomed. I finally took a huge step and decided to seek professional help. Unfortunately, it was not successful and I once again found myself burying it all and trying to move on.

Life has moved on and I have tried to find where I fit in this world. Time has moved forward. Our lives have changed. Where we live, how many live at home, more added to the family, the loss and addition of friends, and even a College graduation under my belt. However, all the things I have buried over the years decided they wanted to be unearthed. I wish I could say I found a healthy way to deal with all of it. Unfortunately, I did not. Since I reached out so many times through the years and I found no help, I have learned it doesn’t matter if I do, help won’t come. I keep to myself and have become a very private individual. I keep most everything to myself or to only a select few. I’m nobody special to anyone to have them care about me. I’ve had some pretty major things happen to me that I have told very few. One of those things was major surgery a couple years ago. I did not want anyone to know. My husband even took his vacation days to spend with me in the hospital so he wouldn’t have to tell anyone. It was supposed to be a one night stay but turned into a week. I went through a difficult recovery and I did it alone with the support of my husband. I conditioned myself to believe nobody needs to know because nobody will care. The truth is, I don’t want to face the hurt of being rejected yet again. So I just don’t. I bury everything deep down.

So, I’m brought to the state of replying “tired” when asked how I am. Depression knocks on my door often. I’m tired of fighting. Anxiety is a new one in the last 4 years that has been thrown in the mix. Oh that’s such an ugly thing. It is truly a debilitating disease along with the depression. It renders me useless. I cannot function, think, or form a sentence when I have an anxiety attack. Between depression and having anxiety, my brain is mush most days. I struggle to get out of my house. I would much rather stay in my “safe zone.” Let me tell you, having an anxiety attack in the middle of a store is no fun at all. Going to the store used to be an easy task for me, but it no longer is. If I don’t have a detailed list, I get overwhelmed. My heart pounds like a hammer, head throbs, stomach churns, brain can’t form a logical thought, and I want to run as fast as I can out the door. I hate these things. I don’t want to have them. I try so hard to not let them take over. I wish I could say I have overcome them. Sadly, I can’t. These two diseases have a mind of their own and they are being told to attack at full force. I die a little every day when I’m dealing with them. They tear away at my ability to live a happy and productive life. It’s the silent killer.

Why have I told you all this? I did not tell you all of this to receive sympathy or to make anyone feel bad for me. I simply can no longer sit by and let this silent killer not only kill me physically, but mentally. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! This has taken me a long time to get out but I feel it is something I’m supposed to do. By looking at me, you would not know I suffer daily from something that cannot be seen. Depression and anxiety have taught me how to create a sturdy mask. I’m taking the mask off. I’m taking it off for all those who suffer from these diseases. Don’t be ashamed or discouraged. Our silence is killing us. It does not mean we are weak because we have these ugly diseases. On the contrary, I truly believe because we have suffered for so long and still breathe means we are pretty tough. I’m begging you, when someone is bold enough to come out of the shadows and share their pain with you that you do not just say “I’m so sorry” and then go about your business as if you were never told. When someone suffers from an illness whose symptoms you can see, don’t you inquire on a regular basis how they are doing? When they respond, don’t you listen patiently to what they are saying? Do you offer your love and kindness even if you do not understand what they are going through? I’m asking you to do the same thing when a courageous person suffering with depression and/or anxiety finally opens up and gives you a glimpse of what they are going through.

“Are you strong because you belong to Christ? Does His love comfort you? Do you have joy by being as one in sharing the Holy Spirit? Do you have loving-kindness and pity for each other? Then give me true joy by thinking the same thoughts. Keep having the same love. Be as one in thoughts and actions. Nothing should be done because of pride or thinking about yourself. Think of other people as more important than yourself. Do not always be thinking about your own plans only. Be happy to know what other people are doing.” Philippians 2:1-4 (NLT)

Update: September 25, 2016 I read and spoke at my church. I did read this but also interjected a few things along with a short talk after. You might want to check it out. There is a lot of feelings and emotions behind my words! 


Monday, March 23, 2015

Dog At Your Feet

As I sat in a quiet home with my dog laying at my feet this morning, I could hear birds singing their delight of the returning of spring. There was a joy from the birds and contentment of the dog in that moment. Yet, somehow those same feelings seemed to escape me. I sat for a moment trying to capture the simple yet complex environment around me. Everything else had the capability to notice and bask in it, why couldn't I? I have a warm house, a comfy chair, a tasty beverage, a soft blanket, and no one or nothing demanding my time and attention. So why couldn't I complete the simple task of soaking in the moment?

The last few months have depleted my emotions and physical well-being. I have had numerous illnesses and physically demanding situations which feel unending. Could these have possibly taken so much from me that I am no longer able to capture the essence of simplicity? Okay, Michelle, time to center your focus and have a talk with God.

“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” ~ James 1:5 (NLT)

It was time to begin asking! He answered!

“If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” ~ 1 Corinthians 10:12-13 (NLT)

God just wanted me to ask Him! He was then faithful to show me I needed to be careful. He wasn’t telling me that I had fallen into temptation. He was saying, “Daughter, I know you have feelings and emotions. I gave them to you! But please be careful to not allow the devil to use them against you. Your faith is strong, but if you allow him to steal the simple moments in life, your faith will begin to crumble. Yes, I am in those moments, even if it is not plain to see. I am the birds singing, the sleeping puppy at your feet, the soft blanket you are cuddled under, and the quiet house you are sitting in. I’m the simple and complex. Have your feelings for a time, dear daughter. However, soon it will be time to get up and dust yourself off. There is work to be done!”

OH WHAT A FAITHFUL AND LOVING FATHER WE HAVE!!!!!! He provided a way for me to endure my temptation by reassuring me I’m not alone!

I know I am not the only one that has been here. My challenge to you today:

Purposely pay attention to God. He will make sure you are on track. He does not forget we are human. Take a moment to make sure you are not allowing the devil to use the small things in your life to chisel away at your faith. It can begin to crumble without you noticing.   

Thursday, June 19, 2014

They Said Sorry...

We know our words and actions can hurt and/or damage individuals. As Christians, it seems this concept has been taught to us from day one. There is no misunderstanding this idea. It is spelled out clearly. We have heard, “Actions speak louder than words” countless times. So we pay attention to how we conduct ourselves. We know one word can tear down. We learn to be more mindful of our speech. Yep, we got this part down as Christians, well hopefully. However, what happens when someone hurts us and says a heartfelt apology?

Yep, that’s right…. They said they were sorry. What are we supposed to do with that? What they did was rude. Yeah, they explained it was a bad morning and were caught off guard. They even said it was not an excuse but was explaining why they came off so short. But, they hurt our feelings. How can we just look past that? What if the action they did was more damaging to us? We have all had events or words in our lives that damaged us greatly, perhaps to a level it takes a while to heal from. Remembering the situation brings the pain back. But, they said they were sorry………

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” ~ Matthew 6:14 & 15 (NLT)

That is right, there is another side to this thing. Think about how you would want someone to respond to you if you made a mistake and had to apologize. Would you want them to dismiss your genuine admission of guilt? We are not just called to watch our words and actions. We must forgive. Forgiveness is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. It does not mean we automatically forget what was done to us. However, forgiveness is not supposed to hinge on that. The damage was done. Jesus had the ultimate betrayal. With one of his last breaths, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” ~ Luke 23:34 (NLT). That my friends, is forgiveness from the heart. When we forgive from the heart, it makes working past the memories easier. The bitter feelings disappear and healing can begin.

My challenge… what are you holding on to that needs forgiven? Is there a person you have bitter feelings toward who hurt you but said they were sorry? It is your responsibility to finish the steps when asked to forgive. Take time to examine and if needed, make it right! You will finally feel the freedom you need!